What a heartfelt, well written article. Women truly fall between the cracks whether you’re a working mom or SAHM. The judgement will always be there. It’s the self-criticism that needs to disappear. 😘😘🙏🙏
During my childhood, I’d always wanted to be a mother. After college, I had a career that I worked hard in until I got pregnant. My husband afforded me the choice of working or not. I stayed home with you for the first 10 months and felt the need to go back to work- but not full time. I worked part time for the next 20 years, maneuvering my schedule around motherhood duties, school duties and travel. It was perfect. I felt fulfilled because I knew I was playing a very important role in my family, Chief Development Officer- creating the best humans I could, who would leave the nest, forge their own way and contribute to the human race in whatever way made them happy. I’m so proud of you and all you’ve done and all you will do. And when you go back to work full-time, you’ll still be the CDO of your own family and do a great job! 👏🏻❤️
Loved this essay, found thanks to CK's restack. My story is no indication of how you'll feel; you'll know when you get there. I cried in my boss' office just before starting maternity leave, mourning the change in my career. But then my son was born and the curtain lifted to the most fulfilling career I would have - mother. I went back to work, but struggled to give it the attention it deserved, and it was financially better to stay home, so I resigned. I've worked since, here and there, and felt guilty for too many years that I was not a full-time working mother, like so many in my community. But I'm done with trying to justify my perception of other people's expectations to myself. I'm blessed and grateful for this life I have with my family. Best wishes for a healthy delivery, with everything going to plan. Be kind to yourself, and when you're doing those night feeds, think of all the other mothers who've been there, too. It helps.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I will most definitely think of all the other mothers who have been there, during the night feeds and during many other moments as well.
The prestige/productivity as value traps seem to be especially strong in the legal industry (my theory, though I suppose it could be true in other and this is just the space I know). I hope you’ve been able to disconnect! During my leave I sometimes felt like I was “doing nothing” but watching tv and nursing, until I realized how much learning and development is happening during that postpartum phase..🤷🏼♀️
Final thought—do you share your watercolor collages somewhere?!
I totally agree it is particularly strong in the legal industry - perhaps stemming from the billable hour?
And you’re so right that there’s a ton of learning and development happening during this period. Such a great reminder.
Re my watercolor collages, I don’t have a specific place I share them (I don’t have an instagram). I’m happy to share if you dm me (and if substack allows photos over messages!)
What a heartfelt, well written article. Women truly fall between the cracks whether you’re a working mom or SAHM. The judgement will always be there. It’s the self-criticism that needs to disappear. 😘😘🙏🙏
Totally agree. Thank you ❤️
During my childhood, I’d always wanted to be a mother. After college, I had a career that I worked hard in until I got pregnant. My husband afforded me the choice of working or not. I stayed home with you for the first 10 months and felt the need to go back to work- but not full time. I worked part time for the next 20 years, maneuvering my schedule around motherhood duties, school duties and travel. It was perfect. I felt fulfilled because I knew I was playing a very important role in my family, Chief Development Officer- creating the best humans I could, who would leave the nest, forge their own way and contribute to the human race in whatever way made them happy. I’m so proud of you and all you’ve done and all you will do. And when you go back to work full-time, you’ll still be the CDO of your own family and do a great job! 👏🏻❤️
Thank you, mom ❤️ love you so much
Loved this essay, found thanks to CK's restack. My story is no indication of how you'll feel; you'll know when you get there. I cried in my boss' office just before starting maternity leave, mourning the change in my career. But then my son was born and the curtain lifted to the most fulfilling career I would have - mother. I went back to work, but struggled to give it the attention it deserved, and it was financially better to stay home, so I resigned. I've worked since, here and there, and felt guilty for too many years that I was not a full-time working mother, like so many in my community. But I'm done with trying to justify my perception of other people's expectations to myself. I'm blessed and grateful for this life I have with my family. Best wishes for a healthy delivery, with everything going to plan. Be kind to yourself, and when you're doing those night feeds, think of all the other mothers who've been there, too. It helps.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I will most definitely think of all the other mothers who have been there, during the night feeds and during many other moments as well.
The prestige/productivity as value traps seem to be especially strong in the legal industry (my theory, though I suppose it could be true in other and this is just the space I know). I hope you’ve been able to disconnect! During my leave I sometimes felt like I was “doing nothing” but watching tv and nursing, until I realized how much learning and development is happening during that postpartum phase..🤷🏼♀️
Final thought—do you share your watercolor collages somewhere?!
I totally agree it is particularly strong in the legal industry - perhaps stemming from the billable hour?
And you’re so right that there’s a ton of learning and development happening during this period. Such a great reminder.
Re my watercolor collages, I don’t have a specific place I share them (I don’t have an instagram). I’m happy to share if you dm me (and if substack allows photos over messages!)